fionafood

below is a (hopefully readable and understandable) list/description of how i eat.

i created it to share with family, friends, and community who have expressed interest in eating with me.

eating with people is a really complicated thing for me, and i have a lot to say about it, here's the bones.

i haven't shared this specific a list before for fear of burdening and intimidating people, but i am doing so now in the hopes that it will, in fact, make sharing food with me more manageable.
just because i am sharing this does not imply that i expect every meal we eat together to stick to it - though i will only be able to eat that which does.

too many times i have eaten things with an ingredient that does contribute to my digestive problems because i feel both grateful for having been invited for food and guilty for being so challenging to cook for.
i need to stop doing this.

i am trying to take my health more seriously and i need others to do the same, trusting that i am not avoiding foods for no reason, but because it is imperative to my health and functioning.

food builds community. you are my community.

fermented vegetables and non-starch vegetables + sea vegetables
(NO nightshades, avocados, beets, parsnips or mushrooms)
garlic, onions and ginger are all acceptable and well loved.

-can be eaten with:

animal protein:
eggs
fish (no shellfish)
turkey
lamb
bison

OR

starchy foods:
squash
peas
artichokes
millet (ideally pre-soaked overnight)
quinoa (ideally pre-soaked overnight

OR

protein fats:
milk kefir
plain yogurt
almonds (ideally soaked, small amounts only)
hemp seeds
flax seeds
chia seeds

---

virgin, unrefined oils:
(can be eaten with anything, but only small amounts with animal protein foods)
coconut (best for cooking)
olive
pumpkin seed
flax seed
evening primrose
walnut
sesame
sunflower

other things i definitely do consume:
raw apple cider vinegar (with anything)
herbal tea (no ‘natural flavours’ or citric acid, or fruit tea)
salt n’ pepper
herbs (no nightshade spices like cayenne, paprika, etc)
lemons and limes
xylitol, stevia, and lakanto sweeteners

notes:
food combining made simple: veggies can combine with anything, but starch, dairy and animal protein must be eaten hours apart.
meals should be 80% non-starch vegetable, 20% animal protein, starch, or protein fat. lemons and limes can be used with anything as a flavour, even though fruit is typically avoided.

some things that i definitely cannot eat, that people often assume i can:
corn
legumes (beans, lentils, chickpeas, etc)
nuts (accept almonds in small doses)
coconut milk
soy sauce (and all things soy)
berries and apples
brown rice
vinegar (other than apple cider vinegar)
honey

a note about organics:
i avoid non-organic foods when possible not because i am high on a moral horse, but because chemicals and antibiotics (in meat) can seriously mess with a system as sensitive as mine. i am aware of the class implications of demanding these high-cost foods and do make exceptions at times in my own purchasing choices as well as when i am being graciously offered food. with meat, i am stricter about organic (when i am purchasing i go as far as wanting to know the farmer or know a lot about the farm, because organic sometimes means very little) because i am concerned about animal welfare and the (il)legitimacy of certifications such as ‘organic’ and ‘free range’. i am also very concerned about the ecological impacts of factory farming and genetic modification. that said, i know that being able to make these choices is a reflection of my privilege and i do not wish to alienate my communities by making unreasonable demands. if you can stick to the above lists which are imperative for my health, i will appreciate you more than i can say. i am not making these choices in an effort to be as frustrating as possible, i am making them so that i can function in my daily life.
i cannot express how alienating it is to be virtually unable to eat with the people that i love. i am always willing to support folks who want to include me in meals by providing ingredients, advice, recipes, and even cooking support if need be (though i can’t say how lovely it is to every so often not have to think about the meal i’m about to eat).

thanks for reading this and eating with me!

pickled bean fail, lacto-fermented pickles, more thoughts on over-eating, and today's anti-misogyny rally

yesterday i threw out my lacto-fermented pickled bean experiment. i ate a few of them, and they tasted alright... but smelled pretty funny, looked pretty funny, and my roommate said they tasted bad and is more paranoid than me so i think he is a good judge. i hate throwing things away, but with fermentation experimentation i have resigned myself to the fact that it will sometimes happen and that it's better to throw things out than to make myself (and others) potentially ill eating things that don't even taste particularly good. it's not a waste, cause i'm learning... or something. well that's bullshit, it's still a waste, but if eating them will make me sick that's a bigger waste and i can't go back and unferment something and just eat it. so at the point of throwing the thing out, it's no longer a waste. hah.
here's what the pickled beans looked like a few days ago.. they got cloudier and pretty gross looking, it's possible i actually just left them too long.

my cukes were a greater success, though. today i fridged my lacto-pickles and i think they are pretty yummy. it's hard to say if they 'turned out', as i've never had lacto-fermented pickles, just the vinegar kind, so i don't actually know what they're supposed to taste like. i've done some reading and all the things that i think seem odd seem to be normal/not dangerous in lacto-pickles. things like: cloudy brine, slight fizzing of the pickles (likely because some of them were airlocked in a way that kept the pressure in), and a not super sour flavour. they were getting a bit soft so i've slowed the fermentation by sealing them in the fridge, but i think they might still get a bit more sour with time.
i am giving them away for FREE (except a one dollar jar deposit) so you can see what you think. i wouldn't give them away if i was not pretty darn confident that they are safe. and tasty.
today i made a salmon, carrot, radish, cuke, pickle and kraut salad and it was SO GOOD. oh, i splashed some apple cider vinegar on there too. and i still feel good. so i declare the pickles edible!

i wrote the other day about my over-eating struggles. since then i had a brilliant revalation/solution!
revalation:
i eat too much (not in a fat phobic/food negative way, but an unhealthy for my body way) and also spend too much time on the computer. i am almost always checking facebook/email while eating, and therefore do not pay attention to what i'm eating, so when i am done i have the residual taste in my mouth and think "oh, that was good, i want more!" since i didn't really experience it as i ate. i then repeat the process over and over...
solution:
no more eating while working on the computer. by making this rule for myself, i not only avoid the above problem (and actually fully enjoy/experience my food), i also limit my computer use. when i think "i should go check facebook AGAIN even though i was looking at it ten minutes ago" but i am hungry or mid meal, i must hold back. when i think "i want to eat something [but i'm not actually hungry]" and i'm in the middle of some debate over the wording of a men's feminist group title... i prioritize my online intellectual pleasure/engagement over my food fixation.
win/win. yay! it's worked really well so far (2 days) and i'm feeling great.

aside from pickles and eating in a way that feels good, today was also great because it involved friday's weekly anti-misogyny/pro-choice party!
today i didn't even have to hear anything stinging (i'm sure some things were said, but i didn't hear them) and was energized as always by our group and the positive feedback we receive from passers-by (the community, in other words).
a friend of mine from out of town who i had tea/breakfast with this morning asked if we hand out condoms at our rallies... so inspired by that idea (fun!) my buddy j and i went to a sex pos clinic after the rally today and asked if they had condoms we could hand out at the rally tomorrow. they said, "yeah, we have some..." and walked away, to return with a GIANT (clinic size, i guess) package of condoms!
j and i went home, he split them all up, taped the instructions manuals to some of them, and put them in cute baskets to hand out from tomorrow. i won't be there, unfortunately, but look forward to doing more of this next time. i'm so stoked about this development. promoting safer-sex AND fighting hatred and misogyny??! fridays are the best.
oh, and on our way home we ran into some street punkers and they commented on j's sign (rights = choice) and i asked if they wanted condoms and they were so stoked. these are the things that make days great.

just one more thing: i just just tasted my kimchi-ish kraut (org. green cabbage, pureed red onion, garlic, and ginger) and it's amazing. i'm going to let it get a little more sour til tomorrow afternoon when i have time to sanitize some distro jars... but i'm very excited. i might not give more than 1 or 2 jars away, because it's just so tasty. will have to do that combination again.
here are some pictures of this one, a few points in its process and depicting my brilliant fruit fly deterrent scheme.

distro #1 and personal food struggles

as i write this, i am eating food that not only am i not hungry for, but that i know makes my body hurt.
my food obsession, while mostly a wonderful passion, has some nasty elements as well. i have a mind/body disconnect, a battle over what my body knows and my mind thinks. typically, the struggle goes like this:
body: aaah that [food] was satisfying.
mind: it tasted so good! we like good tastes! must keep that sensation going!
body: no thanks, i've had enough.
mind: fuck you! it's not about you!
body: but it is! it really is!
mind: i'm higher up, and i think that since eating is pleasurable and pleasure is good then surely eating all the time is good. so there. (convinces me to eat more)
body: oooouch.
mind: hahahaha fuck you i won.

today i read that for leaky gut, not overeating is crucial to healing. grrr8.
i was about to write that i don't know what to do, that i am stuck. i'm not though, i know exactly what to do. get the fuck out of my apartment. having a lot of time on my hands spent at home is consistently one of the worst things for me health. i love spending time at home, and am very grateful that i am able to, but for now, i haven't found ways to convince myself not to eat [things that make me sick or that i am not hungry for] when i have time on my hands and food ever-available. i am aware that both of these things are huge privileges, but i'm not going to pretend that i don't struggle with them anyway.

really looking forward to september, all the exciting projects i'll be starting, and being necessarily limited by time.

but! i must still find the time for all of the fermentation!
so far there are nearly 30 people interested in my home ferments, and at this point i've got capacity for 3 distro jars per week! something's gotta give.

today i sent out my first batch, which is delicious. here's what it looks like, and another one bubbling behind.
as i mentioned last time i base a lot on colour, and this one was challenging because the colours were rather odd and at one point i was convinced it would just stay ugly. but then, suddenly, it changed! i must learn to have faith in the culture.